This Navaratri, I sang a Carnatic song every day.
This may have been my most regular singing experience in nearly 10 years, since I practiced with a group to put on a Hindi film classics concert in Singapore.
I have a strained relationship with Carnatic music, having felt much pressure to perform well – whether imposed by me, or my teacher, or subtly by my musically-talented family, I don’t know. I still am very critical about my performance, catching every high note that I can’t reach, the wrong places where I pause for breath, and laughably, staring at the words of an ambitious song for which I’ve completely forgotten the tune. I’m extremely conscious that my voice can’t even reach 4.5 kattai sruthi.
Despite that, I persisted this Navaratri. I’d decided to wear a saree every evening and sing a song. I skipped on the saree one evening, but not the singing, including one evening in shorts and a tee. Each of the songs is a favourite of some kind or is associated with a strong memory. Here’s a compilation of the songs I sang, my experiences singing them, and the thoughts that came up.
Day 1: Omkara Rupini
A favourite, learnt in 1999, and a song that my little cousin loved so much that he pestered me to teach it to him. The song, set in Karaharapriya, allows for devotion to come across in a hauntingly beautiful way. I once sang it for VK, segueing into Sangeetha Swarangal from Azhagan, set in the same ragam.
Day 2: Seethamma Mayamma
The first song I learnt from my last music teacher. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember how one word in the charanam was sung, and despite listening to recordings of the song by other singers, my mind couldn’t register it. I fudged that word and carried on, slightly flustered. I gathered the courage to record the song and send it to a couple of people.
Day 3: Sarasara Samarai
My paternal grandmother, a singer and music teacher, taught me this song. She is no more, and I find it comforting to sing songs she taught me or those she taught my sister but which I learnt just listening to them. The song is peppy and cute, written for Lord Rama by Thyagaraja. I brushed up my memory with a version by Balamuralikrishna, listening with awe as his voice just rolled through the words of the song, each note sliding from the other effortlessly. When I sang it, I deliberately slowed down the pace significantly because there was no way I was going to be able to make the gamakas otherwise; mother, listening to a recording, was amused by the slow speed.
Day 4: Madhar Madappidiyum and Mani Nupura Dhaari
Learnt for a Thevaram competition, this song is a favourite for the way it goes up and down, and how it challenges me to be mindful, thanks to its words – sample ezhil pozhil kuyil payil. My group ended up coming second in the competition, and the group that won also sang the same song! I managed to get most of it right this Navaratri, but I knew I could do better. I attempted it again on Day 7 to get much better results, purely because by then I was enjoying the process more.
Mani Nupura Dhaari is another paati-taught favourite, set in Neelambari. It is the only song of Oothu Venkata Subbaiyar I know that’s not in Tamil. Neelambari is the ragam to evoke sleep, and the song is wonderfully soothing. By the end of it, I was humming parts of En Swasa Kaatre Neeyadi!
Day 5: Devi Neeye Thunai
This song reminds me of Sudha Raghunathan, probably because I heard it very often on one of her cassettes as a child. It also reminds me of a schoolmate who came to talk to me after hearing me sing this song in the class – we had just started class six, and most of us were new to each other, having been shuffled into 6 C from different sections of class 5. I was an obedient child who volunteered to sing as part of various activities to break the ice.
Day 6: Ra Ra Muralidhara
Another song taught by paati, beckoning Lord Krishna with a sense of urgency that the ragam – Vijayanagari – conveys so well. I struggled once again with a line or two, feeling a little defeated, but I still feel that I attempted it well and sang it with joy for the most part.
Day 7: Brova Bhaarama Raghurama
Perhaps my favourite of all times, as is evidenced by the number of occasions in which I’ve sung it: upon formally going to VK’s house after my wedding; in my first year of college, intimidated by the very talented seniors who were playing instruments to accompany my singing – so much so that when I had to hit the high notes, I meekly reduced my volume, and the audience wondered whether the mic was off; and the funniest memory from class 8 when I began to sing it in a friend’s apartment event, only to forget lines midway and finding my face flushed with shame.
A song taught by paati, listened to since I was very little. Paati, who also wrote the words of the song in my music notebook, put a large semi-colon at the beginning of each stanza to indicate an ara eduppu, where the song begins in the second beat of the taalam (I wonder if I explained this correctly). Amma and I laughed remembering paati’s her fiercely denoted ara eduppu.
Day 8: Alaipayuthey Kanna
This was a spur-of-the-minute decision as I wanted to sing a Tamil song given the visitors we had that evening and I didn’t want to repeat something I’d already sung. My mind is occupied by the tune and its minor variations featured in the film Alaipayuthey, but the influence of Santhanam, whose renditions of Oothukadu Venkata Subbaiyar’s songs are among my favourites, came through a few times too!
Day 9: Saraswati Dhayai Nithi and Sri Saraswati Namostute
I was toying around with singing Saraswati Dhayai Nithi for Saraswati Pooja and finalised it (yes, things are this intense when you only remember a handful of songs after years of not practicing) after listening to my aunt sing it the day before. I was flummoxed with the charanam, though; there seemed to be no pattern to the tune and I couldn’t remember what I’d learnt no matter how hard I tried. I listened to a couple of other renditions and each one sang it differently, only confusing me more. After a couple of attempts to practice, I finally decided to wing it, and went with whatever came to my mind at that moment. There’s a very good chance I didn’t stick to Saraswathi ragam.
Undeterred, I followed this up with Sri Saraswati Namostute, with no prep, despite knowing that I had no memory of two lines in the samashti charanam. I began full of confidence – and therefore sounding particularly good that evening – and started laughing when I hit the words whose tune just vanished from my mind.
Day 10: Naan Our Vilaiyaatu Bommaiya
My aunt, a singer and music teacher in a school, taught me this song when I was little and was spending a few days with her. I’m trying hard to remember whether the little cousin I referenced in Day 1 was born then yet. I vividly recall sitting on the floor near the stairs of her Mylapore home, looking up to her (she was on a chair) and learning the song from her. I also remember being quite pleased with myself for spending a few days away from home and my mother!
Luckily, I ended this year’s Navaratri on a positive note; I enjoyed singing the song despite not hitting the high notes well – but somehow it didn’t matter.